I thought a good introduction to my new blog would be a post on All-Love. I think Love is always a great topic! Anyway, here goes!
His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, “Real love is not based on attachment, but on altruism.”
For me, this statement is incomplete. Real love–or “All-love,” as I like to call it–must be based on more than simple altruism. To be “All-love,” it must include at least a touch of egoism. To love oneself is to love all of creation, because we are all made of that same basic stuff. We are all created in love. We are all extensions of that same Spirit of Love from whence we came. In this way, we are all the same thing, all the same soul. Thus, if you do not love yourself, you do not love anyone else, either.
However, I don’t mean to say a person should love himself in a narcissistic way, adoring his own body and giving in to all of the various desires which may spring to his mind as a way of “proving” his self-love and self-acceptance. Rather, he should accept himself as a growing spirit, recognize whatever faults are in his soul and love himself enough to improve and correct those faults, not only for his own spirit’s sake, but for the sake of everyone else’s. What hurts one of us hurts all of us.
Too many people indulge only in the physical/sexual and emotional forms of love, which are attachment-based forms. Thus, they are able to say, “I no longer love X.” If they loved in the true way, the way we were meant to love, they would be unable to stop loving anyone. If you can stop loving someone, then you never loved them, to begin with. Perhaps what you felt was lust or infatuation, but it was not love. Real love cannot be felt in the loins; it can only be felt in the soul, and unlike lust and infatuation, real love never dies. It is always warm and alive and waiting within every one of us. All we have to do is try to grab hold of it and never let it go.
Unfortunately, it takes effort to love in the spiritual way, so most people don’t even try. It’s much easier to hate. Hate destroys; love builds. It’s easier to tear down a house than to build one from scratch, but the result of tearing it down is a useless pile of rubble. Building the house results in a safe place for its owners to shelter in, to make a home in, and to fill with love. Building a house takes a lot of effort and co-operation, and so does building real love. And, like the house, once love has been built, it requires regular and life-long maintenance. It takes constant work from everyone involved. You can’t just coast along and never fix broken pipes or worn roofing, or you’ll find your house falling in around you. The same goes for relationships. You can’t neglect them and expect them to last and be strong, forever. You must be ready to give and take, to work at keeping the love strong, and to be fully committed to making the relationship work and last.
Love on the cosmic scale, that wonderful All-love that keeps us all going, requires the same commitments of us. All souls must work to keep the All-love strong. All souls must strive to do good for themselves and for all others. If we could only do this, make a concerted effort to feel love instead of hatred or divisiveness or envy or unfounded anger, we could end a great deal of the world’s suffering. When you love someone in the natural, spiritual way, it is impossible to do that person harm.
The only trouble is that people are, at heart, lazy. No one wants to do the work of restoring balance to the world. It’s too hard. No one has time for such things. Heh…it’s funny that the people who have no time for improving themselves and the world always manage to find the time to watch their favorite tv shows, or to play video games or RPGs, or to go to the cinema or theatre or arena, or to go to restaurants or clubs or parties. You can do all this, but you can’t spare thirty minutes to try to connect with the All-love spirit and do your part in making the world better?! For shame!! The fate of the universe rests upon people who have “no time” to care about it. That both saddens and frustrates me. It is egoism, in the extreme. Such an attitude is at odds with creating or restoring balance.
Real love must be a balance of egoism and altruism. If you love yourself more than you love others, it is just as bad as not loving yourself, at all. It’s all about balance. The reason we are suffering from such social problems as discrimination, racism, bigotry, oppression, et cetera, is that we are out of balance. We are all about me, when we should be about us. We have allowed the wheel of life to tilt too far into egoism, and the result is a flood of self-centered evils like bigotry and addiction and abuse. If we are to ever have a good and kind world in which to live, we must work to restore the balance of love, within ourselves as well as within the universe. We must all work at it.
That said, I don’t want to get any emails or comments from anyone, saying, “I don’t have time!” or “It’s too hard!” or “I’d have to give up Such-and-Such!” I’ll save us both some time and tell you right now that those excuses are bullshit, and dumped by a lazy bull, at that. You have to do your part in fixing the problems of the world, or else you have no right to complain of them. In trying to restore the All-love balance, your co-operation is not optional. As a part of the greater whole of being, you are just as obligated to stop the cycle of suffering as everyone else is. We are all connected, and what you do or do not do affects all of us, whether you can see the effects or not. Yes, you have free will, but what is the value of it, if you spend it only in pursuit of your own desires? Free will is valuable only when tempered with compassion and responsibility.
So be responsible for your world! Take an active part in making it better, for yourself, and for all of us. You don’t even have to exert yourself, too much, if you want to get started on improving and developing your personal life-connection to All-love. Give up one half hour of tv or video games or whatever and spend it thinking of everyone you hate, of all those who have wronged or hurt you, and then forgiving them. Don’t let any bad feelings develop toward them, while you are doing this. Simply detach from them and from the hurt they caused you, and forgive them for it. Keep in mind, the forgiveness is not for them, personally, it is for you, and for the whole of humanity. Your forgiveness doesn’t take away the hurt, nor does it mean you’re now willing to allow the hurtful people back into your life. What it does do is free you from the psychic drain that carrying the ill feelings causes. It breaks the unhealthy connection, breaks the hurtful person’s hold on you, and allows you to go on growing as a spirit of love. When even one person grows in All-love, we all benefit from it. Don’t think your single soul can’t make a difference, because it can and it does, for better or for worse.
If you are not yet ready or willing to do the forgiveness routine, then spend your thirty minutes thinking of all the good things you’ve experienced and had in your life, no matter how small they may seem, and being sincerely grateful for them. If you can, add in the bad things, too, and express your gratitude for the lessons they taught you, or for the hidden opportunites they uncovered for you. Once you realize how much you truly have to be grateful for, and you feel that big warm rush of gratitude in your heart, cast that golden light out over a mental image of the world. Let yourself feel grateful for all that is; for everything that we have been given; for the essence of life, itself, and you may find the gratitude evolving into All-love, before you know it. If you can get to the All-love bliss, you will ever after crave it and strive to attain it and prolong it. This is what we’re after, and it’s good for everyone! So please, don’t fall down in your obligation to Love. Even a small effort toward the greater good counts, and we all benefit from it.
3 Comments | In: Love | tags: all-love, altruism, dalai lama, forgiveness, Love, real love, spirituality. | #
